Happy Airspace.

Hostel life as a 9 year old taught me a thing or two about living and fending for your own kind. Very early in life I became aware of “my own kind” of people. There was a certain type of a personality that would draw my attention. The voiceless. Those whose voices were subdued by bossy seniors or tyrannical wardens.

I was their One girl army on the move. I didn’t create teams coz till date I find it hard to work within a team. 

I took up the job and executed it. Be it something as simple as add an extra BOWL of salt to a teachers bowl of Dal/Sambar to something more crafty like device a plan to get rid of the school Principal for sexually abusing school girls within campus. 

My projects were varied. I played Cupid, Athena and maybe even innocent Mohini (The dumbfuck version who is actually clueless of what her powers are doing to the next one, you know simply playing with chemistry) I enjoyed my roles. They kept me busy.

Then Teenage happened. 

My fiercely independent spirit was getting disturbed by “boys”. All kinds. The ones who spoke to the ones who didn’t. I didn’t enjoy having a guy fantasise about me, while sitting behind me, writing exam! 

I found ways to diffuse these ticking sperm bombs around me. I had my ways, never to be mentioned on any platform. It worked, but was energy draining and took away a lot of creative focus resulting in lesser books devoured and lesser artwork made.

It’s a good thing my parents were strict about entry of visitors into my home with nanny setup. Too bad the nanny was easy, and the boys always found a gift suitable for her, in exchange of an entry pass. I d have surprise visits from people I called distraction. They projected their reaction and suggestions on what they felt, my life looked like. 

Didn’t make sense, you buy your way in to make comments? Like I’m going to listen. Often such equations were left aside, ignored hoping it fades away. I have spent a lot of energy in explaining to people why their very presence in my vicinity is draining me, not realising the exercise of explaining is futile. 

I stopped my creative journey until the storm subsided.

Adulthood taught me that the storm never subsides. All the previous storms were nothing more than training grounds. Some how adulthood gave people free pass to wear their sexual nature on their sleeve. Right there in front of the naked eye, for anyone to pass remarks on. Why put your private life for public view I’ll never understand. I have always understood the best pleasures are private journeys. Since when does Privacy mode come with Share options? 

I don’t like to be commented about my body or my choices in life, what I like is to be spoken to about what I can do, my work. 

The ability to convey this message as the headliner to my existence is proving to be tricky.

Let me explain why I feel “work” alone guarantee’s a good interaction. When I think work, I think all that I can create with my body. I could create a dance choreography expressing a heartfelt number, I could render it soulfully too. I could make a piece of art and eat it too. I create with the materials I see, a magical song a blissful rhapsody. I love the melody my journey is creating for me. 

To give up this melody to accommodate everything I call marketing is lame. 

My hands like to create. My senses like to get involved in the process. My mind plays a tune and off we go into creation mode. Its wonderful. Artists are blessed to be able to translate their thoughts as vision into reality as masterpieces. Every bit that goes into the process of making is sacred. Its pure ingredient. The intent to create is so pure that isolation becomes essential. The process of unfolding can be baffling for oneself leave alone someone witnessing the transition.

Its hard to be around artists. I have two others in my immediate family, and I know how crazy the energy can be under the same roof. No love lost there. Just an acceptance of the same. Not all kinds of love can be externalised. Certain type of love calls for internalising. Accepting, being, receiving if that’s more sensible. 

For that to happen, one must become friendly with ones own mind space.Its made up of vibrations.

If you thought externalising was hard, try internalising. You will discover a mental space called mental reality.

Have you paid attention to the vibration you send out, with your words, while reacting to another person’s “Word energy"?

Yes, word energy.

If you can relate to having a person in life , who you wish spoke softer, altered their tone to allow you flow, breathe? Takes a lot to remain calm around them? Then you surely relate to word energy.

Well, maybe not consciously.

In physics, sound is a  vibration that propagates as a typically audible mechanical wave of pressure and displacement , through a medium such as air or water.

In physiology and psychology, sound is the reception of such waves and their perception by the brain.

These waves are the product of our internal thought energy being manifested into space as sound. They are being released into the universe with the help of our vocal chord. 

Speak up they say.

If the mind were a box, imagine the contents to be everything that is a sound, visual, memory of a smell, touch or taste.

The mind is already trying to decipher and make sense of existing imprints while having to deal with everyday life happening simultaneously.

That’s utter chaos.

That’s why meditation helps.

It slows the process of receiving and reacting.

Words that are not used to express the real intent are fake, empty hollow words. They are weaved together in a sentence but fail to hit any note or resonate with the mind of the listener. Such words are filling in space as chaos. Just idle chitter chatter. By the time one filters external voices from their own, the day has ended.

Filling your airspace and mind space with healing sound energy helps in remaining true to your energy and focus. People use the power of mantras to keep their minds under check. When the mantra fades the mind has wavered and must be brought back.

That means one isn’t permitted to share the focus.

Following rigid rules in an everyday life can be close to the gates of the impossible.

One needn’t attempt such feats. 

If outside chatter becomes a bother. Tune in and listen to the inner commentary on the chatter. Soon you’ll find yourself smiling and drifting away to your private island of opinions. 

Happy daydreaming.