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The humble truth


The humble truth

14 August 2010

17:33

Failures can be very tricky to decipher. If taken positively it could serve to be a stepping stone for success but if god forbid, it takes the dark route , it leads to extreme levels of depression, with anger, self doubt, guilt, disappointments acting as milestones.

Here my story as an example.

One fated day, when my dad was in town and as usual stayed at his new "den" , I received a message from my agent, asking me if id like to audition for a strange yet international fashion week. The text read dress code to be hot shorts and tube tops! The seed of skepticism had been sown. I was apprehensive to even respond to the message . So I pushed it for later considering it was scheduled for 14th aug .a week after the text! But as luck would have it, she called me right after waiting for 10 mins and seeing no text on her phone she placed a call. And requested me to audition. I agreed.

I woke up at 10.30.was wide awake at 7 but chose to keep hitting the snooze button throughout the morning . Didn’t have time for a shower. So I fifth avenued myself!!! Didn’t know what to wear that will be hot but not hot shorts!

Ended up with mid thigh shorts and a clumsy top which covered the shorts and belted it at waist. Hated what I wore. ((first stage sabotage ??))Gulped a bit of rice yoghurt shake. And ran! ((second stage sabotage!! Rice yoghurt shake!!!!!!!!!!! Hulooooo!!!!!!!!!!!)))

Reaching there on time, I was the first to be tagged . I read A1 at the side of my dress.(( I was reluctant to wear the prisoners tag!!. Im thinking stage three ??)))

my skepticism grew. I jus laughed and smoked the nervousness away. Made idle chatter with some intelligent fellow models. And left it at that.

The audition began. Abt 50 girls of all shapes and sizes and some with interesting footwear!. I started the show so to speak, but failed to have a impact on the judges. I did my job and scrammed.

The final list was announced and I wasn’t on it.

I was disappointed yes, but relieved. Cant explain why!!! Im trying to get there…

A few fellow models came upto me and complimented me on my walk and my looking exotic , and expressed their surprise at the judging!!

even the produced who was chatty throughout, made a suggestion of wanting to work with me the next time, but I guess he was just being nice to me !!

But the funny thing is I wasn’t surprised at all. Coz in the break time, at the expresso shot kiosk (( I chugged 4 shots and a red bull on empty stomach !!)), I found myself telling 2 models who came there for coffee and to compliment me, that I didn’t wish them to boost my ego as , in case I didn’t make it to the final cut, it would jus seem to me like empty words. With nothing to back them up they wont mean much to me and may be held against my judgement about their intellegence! . They were assured I would get through. Hmmm…

In my defense, I wasn’t keen on this gig as prior to this I worked with tarun tahiliani for his couture show! :)

Anyways, the point is that It got me thinking about the power of the sub conscious mind. Maybe somehow I had programmed myself to be on my "not interested to charm anyone " mode!!!

Maybe, jus maybe I had programmed myself to sabotage the operation..

Well only time will give justification for the happenings.

I still swear by ho'aponopono :)

Cheers and peace :)

Comments

  1. PaddyAugust 16, 2010 at 9:17 PM

    You are browsing through your friends updates, on a slow Sunday afternoon, with you brain totally tuned out for anything that requires its slightest application.

    Then you hit upon a blog that is so fundamental in its naming that your sub conscious tells you to just walk away.

    But then the curiosity gets its better, and you get started. Somewhere in the middle and you are now devouring it...

    But just when you are about to sign off calling it a nice blog, the author ends up talking abt the power of subconscious. And you are like.. what? really?, and worst of all..thinking..

    So now, this is what I think abt a hit and a miss - as the difference between launching into something making the sub conscious slowly fade vs letting it persist and steadily pull you into its gravity.

    Is that really that simple?.. I don't know..but I know that's about it for my rambling..:)

    Good luck on your future auditions!

    Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SuyashAugust 30, 2010 at 2:16 AM

    The research shows you can take an infection and make it a full-blown cold or NOT, depending on how you choose to keep your frame of mind...I guess for things like this the effect is more so - but then you have to experience shit to know what shit is :P

    ReplyDelete

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