rebirth

I am loopy im crazy im conscious But why cant you see? Im just “being me” What has changed in a blink of the eye Why does your answer fail to justify? Is it true or do i smell a lie? You jus smile, looking so endearing and equally sly. I touch a pebble and turn its its worth more than a stone You take a stone and abuse it !! till it begins to look worn! I point and complain, with tears and smile, You nod your reply and say “it will take a while” I ask you time ,to set a deadline, You give me a kiss , and politely decline. I get lost in a brew of confusion , My heart sinks an inch towards delusion You ignore and maintain your thought Pining for more, not happy with what you got!! Is this the storyline? The entire plot? Is it worth taxing my brain or should I put it in a slot? Do you not see where its going? Its sinking , its hit a rock. You say you can see, but are helpless , in a lock. I quiver inside, in agony you don’t understand. You are not helpless . you just have to make your de...

there are days when a blanket of blankness envelopes me. I dont feel like responding to a phonecall or the maid knocking at my door. im jus blank. no thoughts. no activity upstairs. Russell peters may claim that its only the men who undergo bouts of blankness whereas the women spend their precious moments in pondering over "issues" which he claims are rather useless in real life. That gets me to wonder about the thinking process. both men and women. being a woman i cant deny i have rather tedious and very tiring thought processes and sometimes i can sense a physical shift in my head, a sort of a "settling down" of my brain . this happens in snatches of time , say , at the waiting period in a movie ticket queue, or at a coffee house waiting to be served.. all that heavy shifting inside eventually leads to blankness. i tune out. i have my radio signals suspended for a few mins. i go into some sort of a utter relaxation mode. i suddenly appreciate my surroundings. th...

Im sure we are all very familiar with the" pendulam". for those who dont know what it is.. its a horizontal version of a yo-yo. both pretty much work on the theory of being consistently inconsistant in retaining its position. it cant take a stand . it cant go against its own nature to hold still and remain there.. its job nature itslef is to be indecisive. i feel like iv built a nest on one of these pendulams.coz for reasons unknown my life goes from going in circles to complete yo yoing at zero minutes notice. To avoid the trauma of the everchanging scenarios i have to learn to pattern the whole darn thing in my head. look for warning signs, take corrective actions so on and so forth.I jus have to "figure it out" like i have nothing better to do than guage situations and prepare myself for it. that brings me to a thought. Is everyones life a sort of a pendulam? or is it jus me. I have been told im bi polar. to most people that s gibberish and an excuse one gives ...